Another Joke

I read the following here, and then I laughed:

When Grandma Goes To Court

Humor; Posted on: 2008-01-17 20:06:02 [ Printer friendly / Instant flyer ]

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.' The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?' She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.' The defense attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

A Good Laugh

Speed limit Waiting in Doncaster , to catch speeding drivers, a police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 mph.. He says to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seats and three in the back - wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" The officer replies,"Ma'am, You weren't speeding but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...twenty-two miles an hour!" ....the old woman says a bit proudly. The police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that A22 is the road number not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the officer for pointing out her error. "Before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask....Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't made a sound this whole time," the officer asks. "Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We've just come off the A120."

I love dogs

Very Funny.

Very Clever

Been away for a while, Just a few pictures for now.

I hope these will show a few things that make up my days. Some funny, some just what I see when out and about. The lake is 'Talyllyn', not far from me. Walking on water, the third man to do it, as they say. Th cat?, my nieces pet. She also took the photo ( She, not the cat!). The lady with the big coat has lost a lot of weight in the past few days. She was sheared by my nephew along with others. From a size 20 to a size 8, in ONE DAY?. Hows that for a diet!!! Enjoy.

What do you think the photo shows....a Fish??

So did I when I first found it on the kitchen window two days ago. I took the photo and thought about it for most of the morning. Later in the day I found another, but slightly larger. By now I was quite worried, thinking I was being invaded by fish.

I looked at it under a microscope and then found what it really was....a dried up leaf from the Jade plant on the window ledge. I still think of it as a fish.....

Hungry Little Chap

Hungry Little Chap

Saw this and thought of my supper. Enjoy.

I want one outside my home.

This made me laugh.

Super Squirrel

Some years ago I was pestered with squirrels getting on the birds feeding table and demolishing the feed as well as chewing the wood surrounds. I cured the later by putting a metal strip, but the food was still taken.

As "Baldrick", the actor in that wonderful series on the TV, 'Blackadder' used to say " I have a CUNNING PLAN". I made a metal cowling, like those hats that Eastern people wear when planting rice and fitted it below the feeders. It was a success right from the start. The pest would climb up, but under the hood, they were unable to see the food and eventually left things alone. They still climbed, but were thwarted at each attempt.

This lasted for some seven years, yes, seven years, until a few weeks ago. I was at the kitchen window and saw one sitting on the top of the feeder looking at me. I think he waved to me.. on second thoughts it might have been a finger!!

I cut a load of prickly Hawthorne and draped it over the table. A little later he appeared and looked at it. You could see his brain working. He went down and then appeared in front of me on the window ledge. He bunched himself up and flew through the air onto the thorns, without any pause and he was on the nuts again.

I chased him off but later in the day he was back on the window ledge but instead of jumping off as before, he climbed up the post and reached out to a tiny piece of leaf jutting out beyond the disc. He jumped and held on with one paw, then pulled himself up to the top like a gymnast on the parallel bars. I gave up and left him to it...... BUT,.... I am now thinking of another "Cunning" plan, and will let you know as soon as possible with any result.

Clever little things

A Senior Joke, received today.

The little old lady phoned her neighbor and asked him to help her with a very complicated Jigsaw Puzzle."What's the Puzzle about", he asked. She said " Looks like a Rooster on the box". Of course he was watching a football match but he knew the lady relied upon him so he shut down the TV and walked over to her house. She opened the door. They sat at the table and studied the puzzle for a few minutes when the man said "This is impossible, go and put the kettle on and make a nice cup of tea; when you have done that............

"we can put the Cornflakes back into the box"

(Well. I thought it funny) boom boom..

Very Good Pictures

Some thought provoking Photographs

Funny Images

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Going for a walk?

I thought a walk was just a way of getting some exercise. How wrong can you be. See the video.

Do you like Pizzas?

A friend sent this to me. Turn up your sound. I laughed a lot. Not being a Pizza Fan.

Health and Safety????

I bet they would have quite a bit to do........

Funny Signs

Confused? You will be after looking at this.

Funny Signs

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Crazy Cyclist?

Don't believe it. Just saw this in today's Daily Mail - I laughed which reminded me of this.

Who Needs A Truck In Vietnam

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What's the water like??

New Favourite Video

I am learning how to embed Videos and this gave me a chuckle.